Apparently, I’m mean.

Findsomeone dating page conversation. Name has been changed. I’ve edited anything that might identify him.

Me:  Hi DH, I really like your glasses 🙂 and yours seems like a kind profile too.

Me: While I’m within your age “range”, I’m genuinely interest in why you exclude women of your own age?  If I did this you would be too old for me to consider.

DH: I have just been thinking that up to my own age ought to be fine. I would like to be with someone who looks after their skin.

Me: Do you look after your skin?

Me: You expressly say in your profile that beauty comes from within. I have excellent skin by the way, how is yours?

DH: I take care, but age has clearly had some effect,


On chortling over this exchange with women friends I was surprised and a little disappointed to be described as mean, or that I would never get a date with my attitude. I was also told men like women with long hair..right well I’ll be rushing to grow my clipped tresses then, NOT! (I have a theory about this).

FFS! it was International Women’s Day last week. My being “mean” makes it sound like DH has some sort of disability and I’m picking on him.

Apparently it is a scientific fact that men look in the mirror and see themselves as better looking than they are and women think the reverse. Judging by the toothless, unattractive men on dating sites looking for women 10 years their junior and at 63, are considering “children sometime in the future”. I just wonder which future planet they are on. Still I guess the hint was in the title of the website, Findsomeone – it seems to suggest an air of desperation -like just anyone???

Perhaps I could put in some more conditions- no liars, cheats, hypocrites, and people who can’t spell “dining” or use the apostrophe correctly. Perhaps I’m a hypocrite too, I am really not into facial hair, even Santa is scary.

Image result for men in the mirror versus women

In terms of progress in women’s rights we are still waaay behind. How long do we sit on our hands and say, yeah it’s terrible we don’t have equal pay, that so many of us can still #metoo, that so few women are still represented on boards, in positions of power and as MPs. We in New Zealand have finally crept up to 38% representation in parliament, which compared to the rest of the world is considered “good”. I’ll consider it “good” when it is 50%.

I hope that you take the time to watch this interview regardless of your gender or politics.

I was sad to hear the three top rated TV series of the year all involved terrible violence against women including rape and murder. I too, have watched these shows and enjoyed them, such as The Killing. I am heartened though, by the outrageously good women detectives.

  • Chief Inspector Sarah Lund: Sofie Gråbøl below is the main character in The Killing.

Image result for the killing scandinavian version

The other thing I like is that their bruises don’t miraculously heal overnight, they wear the same clothes to work, they shower after sex and look genuinely tired after working very long hours. My favourite character is the woman on the Asperger spectrum  who plays the lead in Bron (the Scandinavian crime thriller, translated asThe Bridge). Sofia Helin is in the role of Saga Norén. A fourth season has just been shown overseas and I am really looking forward to seeing it here. If you are prepared for the addictive nature of the series and can stay up until 4 am to “just watch one more episode”, then I highly recommend it.

Image result for bron

I have never been an avid TV watcher and when Netflix came out I scrolled though a friend’s Netflix and couldn’t find a single thing that appealed to me. It was only when Netflix offered a free month’s trial that I became horribly hooked. I now realise it refers you to other series if you  like something and it is good to get referrals from friends with similar tastes. Trouble is, I watch it all the time and it is to the detriment of reading and doing other things.

Here are my favourites so far:

The Day Will Come– totally grim and based on a true story of young boys in an orphanage in the 60’s. It stars my favourite Danish actor Lars Mikkelsen as the school principal and Sophie Grabol from The Killing. It’s a difficult watch but the day does come finally.


I’m not usually that into American stuff but I got caught up in this one and will watch the latest series when it comes to Netflix. I really like actor, Clare Danes who plays the lead.

Image result for homelands netflix

Marseille – starring of course, Gerard Depardieu. He is very polarising  but I enjoyed these two series, particularly the second one. He plays the long standing Mayor of Marseille in this story of politics and intrigue.

Image result for marseille (tv series)

Often I don’t want to watch scary stuff, I just want something light but reasonably engrossing so if you feel like this, check out Girl Boss, Grace and Frankie (stick with it, don’t be put off by the first episodes), Princess Cyd (movie not series), Lovesick and Sensitive Skin, (I saw Kim Cattral in the lead but there is a UK version with Joanna Lumley).

Image result for love sick

In the last few days, on recommendation from a friend, I watched The Honourable Womana UK thriller with again, a great couple of female leads and in fact, with a large number of great female roles. The trouble is, I watched until 2 am and missed my walking group this morning. I think it was worth it but now it’s raining and I can’t get my walk in.

Image result for an honourable woman

To my delight, among my friends and family there are lots of babies being born in the next few months, so I’m wishing them all well and getting my knitting needles out.

Wishing you a great week, and don’t forget to grow your hair and look after your skin. FG

and don’t get like these ugly old bags…lol

Image result for sexy women with short grey hair

Image result for sexy women with short grey hair

Image result for helen mirren






2 Replies to “Apparently, I’m mean.”

  1. Re FindSomeone exchange: It seems you frightened him off the site! Too much to expect that he’s withdrawn his profile in order to give some serious consideration to the issues you challenged him over.

    In the same vein, be sure not to miss this:

    (Gotta love “Stuff” – news plus drivel condensed to one web-page, perfect for the ADD readers amongst us).


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